hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
