If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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