Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
