so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
