I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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