recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
