We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
