I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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