so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize