Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize