wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I looked at my own cervix.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
