"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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