Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
