Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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