The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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