TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
