I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
