Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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