READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Found the puke drawer
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
