Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We had to coat check the pizza.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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