yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
