Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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