you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
