i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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