I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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