and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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