The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
