piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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