My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
