Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize