yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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