I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
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he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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