You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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