take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
