The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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