And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
