i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
