people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
what day is it and did you see me today?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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