All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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