Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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