Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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