I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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