Already got asked if we're dating
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
