The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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