Cold hands, warm shart.
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.