piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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