Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much

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(703): My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much http://tfl.nu/7w3a

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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(321): My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money? http://tfl.nu/139x

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

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(203): How did you manage that? (860): Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis (203): lol... jersey girls rock http://tfl.nu/qjnw

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(716): View more from New York

you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.

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(716): you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all. http://tfl.nu/2dp0

Replies (32) Good night (1816) Bad night (3756)
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(415): View more from California

And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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(415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

..im mad u rememberd about that

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(732): i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt (1-732): ..im mad u rememberd about that http://tfl.nu/q0le

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(812): View more from Indiana

I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.

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(812): I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is. http://tfl.nu/2rnr

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(616): View more from Michigan

my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

does that include her cleaning your bowl?

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(616): my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave. (1-616): does that include her cleaning your bowl? http://tfl.nu/8sts

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(513): View more from Ohio

Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

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(513): Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this. http://tfl.nu/ipvr

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?

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(832): Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday? http://tfl.nu/ynw6

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

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(918): Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right? http://tfl.nu/jzhy

Replies (2) Good night (1906) Bad night (573)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog

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(973): i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog http://tfl.nu/1yan

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.

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(870): Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up. http://tfl.nu/82ti

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

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(919): I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots http://tfl.nu/ri9x

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(318): View more from Louisiana

A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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(318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl

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