You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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