I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
