You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ketchup is God's man juice
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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