Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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