its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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