there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
