Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
