We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
