What a fucking waste of an outfit
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
