apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
